Paschal Agonsi

8 Ways to Avoid Manipulative People

toxic people

Manipulation is simply people taking advantage of you for selfish reasons.

Manipulation in psychology is a behaviour designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage.

Manipulating someone is different from persuading someone.

Persuasion is the act of causing people to do or believe something, which will usually bring positive outcomes.

On the other hand, manipulation is the act of controlling or playing upon someone by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s own advantage.

Lift Your Mind shares 8 manipulative tactics and how you can overcome them.

1. Gaslighting

• They insist an incident didn’t happen when it did and claim they did or said something when they didn’t

• The goal is to make you question your own reality, memory, or perceptions

• Always give yourself permission to leave the conversation when it starts

2. Silent treatment

• They stop all forms of communication by ignoring all your calls and texts

• You end up doing just about anything to stop the feeling the sense of “punishment”

• Subtly find alternatives and never beg for attention, this only encourages the behaviour

3. Giving ultimatums

• Ultimatums like “if you don’t accept this, it’s over” are distressing because they generate anxiety

“All or nothing” threats put pressure on you to make a decision before you’re ready

• Always ask for time to think or else reject right away

4. Negative humour

• Manipulators make critical or hurtful comments and brush them off as “jokes”

• By demeaning you they impose psychological superiority over you

• Ignore the negativity, stay calm and keep a positive attitude

5. They claim ignorance often

• They pretend not to understand what you want them to do or say

• This way they take advantage of you and dump more responsibilities on you

• Always take a moment to evaluate if they are trying to avoid some obligation or work

6. Familiar meeting location

• A manipulative person may insist on you meeting and interacting in a physical space where space they can exercise more dominance and control

• Try to stick to a neutral place that is new to both of you

7. Letting you speak

• A manipulator will ask general and probing questions to establish a baseline

• They then use this baseline to evaluate your strengths and weakness

• Don’t overshare, always ask questions to fully understand the person’s perspective

8. Intellectual bullying

• This is when someone overwhelms you with facts. statistics or jargon you may have no knowledge in

• The main goal is always to take advantage of you

• Always prepare through research if it is a preplanned meeting and don’t be quick to lose your stance

That’s a wrap, thanks for reading!

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